USL Secondary (Third Level, Master Mage) Disciplinary Committee Overturns The Overturned Video Reviewed Referee Called Red Card

The United Soccer League stated, on Wednesday, that their secret third level disciplinary committee comprised of ex-mascots and executives from Miami FC reviewed the reviewed and overturned video reviewed referee called red card from FC Cincinnati's game against New York Red Bull II. 

Photo: Sam Greene

"CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHY THERE ARE SHRINERS DRIVING ON THE FIELD FOR THIS REPLAY?!"

"Red Bull II requested a review of the review of the review, so in accordance with our by laws we had our secondary but also third level master mage docents review the review of the review and we found that in fact that there was perhaps maybe a red card but not a sending off," stated the league's press release.

While the play was called, then reviewed, then reviewed again and then reviewed again, the USL stated that this didn't prevent them from looking at it again in another few days stating, "We may have our fourth level, (Secret Paladin and Ogre Brute), referee and comittee review the review of the review of the review to come to a conclusion that Mitch HIldebrandt is actually a 23rd level master mason. We don't know. Shit happens."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as we finish our initiation.