Man Suddenly 1/23rd Argentinian As Copa America Kicks Off

Cincinnati, OH - Local soccer fan and FC Cincinnati supporter Deryk Williams shocked friends with his reveal that he is actually 1/23rd Argentinian as the Copa America kicks off today.

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"I never knew Deryk was Argentinian," stated good friend Sandra Blevens. "It's pretty amazing and coincidental that he would reveal this on the day that the Copa America kicks off, but I guess if he wants to support the team of his ancestors, that's ok."

Reportedly, this whole thing started when Mr. Williams realized that he was going to need another team to support in the Copa America that isn't the United States and somehow contains the best player in the world. Mr. Williams took to studying his family tree, genealogy, ship manifests, immigration records for Ellis Island, and even the lineage of his 10th cousin once removed great cousins who may have known his maternal great-great-great-grandmother. 

He's even gone so far to trace his heritage to Paraguay. "Anything to avoid supporting a team anchored by a Stoke player," as he stated to The Nutmeg News.

"I need adventure in my life. I need swashbuckling beauty in soccer. I need drama and a long run in an international tournament. None of this is going to come from the United States. As it turns out, I'm 1/23rd Argentinian so I'm fulling rooting for Messi and La Albiceleste in this one. If they get knocked out I'm jumping onto Paraguay, Chile or Brazil with both feet. God, imagine having to root for a team with Geoff Cameron and the injured hamstrings of Jozy Altidore on it. NOPE!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr. Williams drives to the local convenience store to see if they have any of that Guayaki Yerba Mate.