LOS ANGELES - Landon Donovan, international superstar and greatest United States player of all time... ever, announced that he was disappointed in the United States Men's team win on Tuesday evening.
WHY WONT THEY FIRE HIM!?
"We really had one chance to be rid of that kraut bastard," stated Donovan to The Nutmeg News on Wednesday morning. "I was hoping that the United States would lose so we could finally get rid of Jurgen and I would be proven right in all regards surrounding the United States Men's Team."
While shocking to some outsiders, it should come as no surprise to those that have followed the short cold spell of tension that exists between Donovan and Klinsmann.
"I just want to see him lose, because it will prove that he was wrong. And if he is wrong in general then he is wrong about not taking me to the World Cup. And he was definitely wrong about not taking me to the World Cup. How? HOW COULD HE? I am Landon Donovan. He is definitely wrong. And the next game that he screws up, he should be fired. Hell he should just be fired anyway," ranted Donovan to our reporter. "My shock omission didn't rile people up, my response to the situation didn't rile people, my banner I paid to have flown over the stadium last night didn't rile people up, WAKE UP AMERICA, GEOFF CAMERON AND ABBY WAMBACH ARE RIGHT!"
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Donovan starts pulling for the Mexican national team to knock the United States out of CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying to make his point..