NEW YORK - Red Bull New York (RBNY) fans are reportedly unsure what to do with their surging optimism after their 2-0 win over the Portland Timbers on Sunday.
"We are in the running for the Supporters Shield, again. We already booked a playoff spot, again. We took down a western conference team on the road. I don't even know what to do with myself!" said 20 year fan of the Metrostars and RBNY, Steven Kotby. "I'm going to launch all my old Petke memorabilia off the top of the Empire State Building or something. Well, no... I'm not going to do that at all, but WHAT A FEELING."
The Nutmeg News spoke to Red Bull fan Penelope Johnston about her burgeoning hope. "This is just amazing, honestly. To go from the raucous town hall meeting and the angst over the firing of Mike Petke, to beating Portland in their own house and claiming the top of the East again while booking our step into the playoffs, this season has been one enjoyable ride. I mean I think back over the season with all the games we have watched and all the play we have enjoyed. This has just been an incredible turnaround. WHAT DO WE DO?!"
That's not a sweater vest!
While most Red Bull Fans are finding the silver lining,p a few long term fans accustomed to the heartbreak that the team provides are still cautioning against delirium.
"The supporter shield is shit. We just want the cup. Let's not get ahead of ourselves and all get crushed when Metro gets killed by New England in the playoffs and we fire Jesse Marsch for not being able to get us all the way there. We are still in for the same ride, and there is nothing short of an MLS cup victory that will convince me otherwise," said Tom Benson of Newark, NJ.
"All these new fans don't understand the wave of unrelenting despair that is coming straight for their face. That wave we call the Major League Soccer playoffs where shit teams like the Colorado Rapids somehow manage to find their way to a cup win. Despair is coming, as well. Enjoy it while you can. I'm going outside to smoke."
While the dissenting opinions still live, most Red Bull New York fans are trying to deal with the massive amounts of optimism that are swelling within the undercarriage of the New York Is Red crowd.
"I can't handle this. Please start losing or at least playing poorly so that it validates my hardscrabble fanhood and I can get back to drinking and yelling things in frustration at the television. This is just nuts!" yelled Wesley Godot before he cartwheeled in the street before his 1 bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. "This is just rediculous. What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?!"