Ronaldinho Confirms, "I'm Almost Desperate Enough To Play In North America"

EDITORS NOTE: After publication, it has been noted that Mexico is absolutely part of North America and the border for Central America. While this headline came from the translation of Ronaldinho's comments, we have also fined and suspended The Nutmeg News reporter Geoffrey Brandice for his geographical error.

MIAMI - Brazilian clubbing superstar and sometime soccer player Ronalidnho confirmed to the media that he was almost desperate enough to play in North America on Monday. 

"Coincidentally with my release from Querétaro, I'm now ready to pursue options in the United States and Canada" said the 35 year old Brazilian playboy. "I have heard good things from the many options in Miami from my good friend Pato and would like to pursue a lifestyle conducive to that of Tony Montana in the documentary Scarface."

While Ronaldinho's star has diminished from his days as the de-facto "best player in the world" he still has the ability to pull fans into both the soccer field and the club. "My best days may be behind me but I still have the ability to party til dawn and make it out to training most of the time. Somewhere out there is a Major League Soccer or NASL side that is willing to overpay for me in a dramatic sense because of my name brand" said Ronaldinho through translator Jorge Da Silva.

While not known for his defense, Ronaldinho could move the publicity meter in places that also have a vibrant nightlife. The rumors are strong that David Beckham's completely non existent Miami MLS team is chasing Ronaldinho to either play soccer or act as an ambassador for a bottle service that they are beginning in south beach nightclubs.

However, Ronaldinho has indicated that the interest doesn't stop with Major League Soccer. "I am interested in the New York Cosmos as well. I feel that Pele could help me establish a major brand and sponsorship deal with Subway who have the freshest sandwiches in North America with their new Pork Belly and Yellow Chipotle double sub."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this move as it happens.