MLS legend Landon Donovan announces engagement

LOS ANGELES - Major League Soccer (MLS) legend Landon Donovan announced today that he is engaged to marry MLS legend Landon Donovan.

“I just woke up one day and realized that MLS legend Landon Donovan, a person I feel I've known my whole life, was my soul mate and the person I wanted to get to know more than anyone else in this world,” Donovan says, “I had spent so many years focused on my soccer and becoming a MLS legend that I neglected to realize the value of personal relationships and now the greatness that is MLS legend Landon Donovan truly completes me.”

Donovan went on to say, “When I was on a vision quest in Tijuana, I just walked by a mirror and I saw MLS legend Landon Donovan, and I knew that I had truly found true love. The way MLS legend Landon Donovan moved, the way MLS legend Landon Donovan walked, the way MLS legend Landon Donovan passed a ball, it was really love at first sight and I (MLS legend Landon Donovan) had to put a ring on the finger of MLS legend Landon Donovan as fast as I possibly could.”

TNN asked Donovan to describe what it was like to be approached in this way. “Well, I was walking through the door of Pirate Pete’s Tequilapalooza, a bar in Tijuana, and MLS legend Landon Donovan walked in at the same time. Our eyes locked from across the room as we both  looked into the same mirror and I knew that MLS legend Landon Donovan was the one for me. MLS legend Landon Donovan got down on one knee and pulled out a LA Galaxy MLS Championship ring that he wears on a pukka shell necklace and I said yes!”

The happy couple plans on tieing the knot later this summer after MLS legend Landon Donovan finally decides to come down off his USMNT rejection cross.